New favourite joke:

mixedboywasted:

juliuscaesarofficial:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

these are the best jokes ever

humor blog

tonedbellyplease:

I’ve reblogged this before but it’s just too precious

(Source: ommm-namah-shivaya)

(Source: missrnonroe)

(Source: ksvbi)

ibmblr:

A bottle of red made with data.Finding the perfect wine used to mean going to a good wine store, discussing your future meal with a sales person and trying to remember the wine the next time you buy. Now all you have to do is go to a website, like that of Bordeaux-based fine wine merchant Millesima. With data, they can help any customer, anywhere in the world, select the right bottle, for the right meal, the right climate, time of year, you name it. Plus you don’t have to soak off the label to remember the name and vintage when you want to buy it again. Explore more stories →

ibmblr:

A bottle of red made with data.
Finding the perfect wine used to mean going to a good wine store, discussing your future meal with a sales person and trying to remember the wine the next time you buy. Now all you have to do is go to a website, like that of Bordeaux-based fine wine merchant Millesima. With data, they can help any customer, anywhere in the world, select the right bottle, for the right meal, the right climate, time of year, you name it. Plus you don’t have to soak off the label to remember the name and vintage when you want to buy it again. Explore more stories →

'Former U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. has been moved from a fed prison in North Carolina to a minimum-security prison camp in Montgomery, Ala., after clashing with prison officials and being placed in solitary confinement…The…former Chicago congressman, 49, had been advising other inmates in North Carolina about their rights in prison…who said a guard took exception to that.'

thesmithian:

more.